This is what concerns me the most about this post. PM me and I can give you a ton of links/info/general advice. Basically, it's the mindset that seperates something like crash/strict diet from an eating disorder. While everyone might get frustrated about not fitting into x size at the mall, bursting into tears is not a normal reaction. I don't really want to get into it here, so PM me and I'll forward some stuff your way.

Also, jeans size generally does not mean that someone is skinny/fat. You can be 6" tall and all muscle and fit into a size 30 jeans. Likewise, you can be largely fat mass and short and fit into 26/27. It dosen't matter whatever size you are, everyone carries weight differently, and everyone has a different fat/muscle ratio.

While it might be a little annoying to have a friend who's considerably smaller than you complain about his/her weight, everyone feels insecure sometimes-- no matter their size.

haha, agreed.

yeah, no wonder girls have eating disorders when guys are saying sz 25/26 isnt small

I notice in the attempt to make Jon feel bad, his quote of saying 26/27 isn't all that small if you are short (such as 5') was turned into "25/26" - by page 3 someone is going to claim that Jon said that size 00 Petite girls are fat.

feelings trump truth, avatar.

Sorry i messed up the size. Anyone whose a 29 or under is small in my book.
Its just my opinion.

I hate when people say small girls arent allowed to 'feel' bad about their weight. It is such an ignorant comment. Big or little we all have our insecurities, rational or not.

Dizzy: You are a sweetheart to be so concerned. Being such a good boyfriend will give her some confidence boosts

thanks for all the understanding and help. Im a huge diesel fan but NOWHERE in cleveland sells girls diesels so its hard to sell her on them, and the only place I can find 4 or 5 pairs is at one of two Nordstroms in Ohio. I think I might buy her a pair of Matics for xmas or maybe just to get them for her.

but yeah, its messed up that she thinks that way about herself but I just make sure I never say anything to encourage it, and I know she never has and probably never will have an eating disorder. she loves food almost as much as I do.

and she is 5'4" so Id say shes pretty small, and sometimes she buys jeans that arent as tight as they should be cause of her lack of confidence.

thanks again for all the suggestions!

lolz

No one is saying that thin people can't be insecure, but if someone who's size X complains that they look fat, it's obviously going to be insulting to the person who wears size X + 3.

Thank you.

This is what I was trying to say

I agree, but i know alot of people who see themselves alot bigger than X. Take a girl whos tiny who see's herself as fat. when she makes a comment about her weight she is not thinking she is thinner than X (who is infact techincally bigger). She thinks X is alot smaller than herself thus not being aware of the insult. It's a bit of a head fuck but its how alot of girls see things.. Twisted and warped.

Yeah, this happens to me. I've weighed 20 lbs. less and saw myself as much fatter than I am now. Good old BDD.

If you have been diagnosed with BDD or anorexia, and know that you are underweight technically, you should have the common sense to avoid saying those things. If you wear a small size, it is not rocket science that you are a small person, regardless of how you feel or see yourself. I'm not trying to be mean, I've done this myself and been called out on it, so I try to watch my mouth now. Think about it - do you really want to make other people feel as fat as you feel, or worse?

Besides, complaining that you are fat is boring, and no one wants to be boring!

No offense, but if it was that easy no one would say things like that. It's like yelling at a drowning person "JUST swim!!!"...lol

It's not about what is logical.

I am sooo much older and have never had an issue about my weight, so when I read all the comments it's like a whole other world 20 years in the past for me. I do know people, (both men and women) who have struggled with eating disorders of all kinds. Most are thriving now 20 years later.

Hey there. This is "Hips" husband. This has to be the most arrogant ignorant thing I have heard in a while. If you are trying to draw a line between common sense and BDD, you are facing a challenge full of futility. What you have failed to understand is that when a person suffering with BDD looks into a mirror, they may see anything. It does not necessarily have to reflect even the most vague resemblance to what the rest of the world sees. This applies to people who are heavy, skinny, beautiful, etc. In the end, it is just a closed minded impression that you leave. Everybody must have the freedom to state how they are feeling about themselves. Anothers impression received by that is completely invalid in regards to the other person.

If you have a BMI that is underweight, you should know enough not to comment that you are fat to people who are clearly much larger.

ETA: Hips, I'm going to PM you. It is fine if your husband reads it too.

There is no 'should' know enough. Josh is right. A blanket statement in this case does not apply, really. In the OP's case, it sounds like his GF has PMS to be honest

I spend my life working with mentally disabled people and if I have learned anything. it would be to avoid all encompassing statements altogether. As there is very rarely anything that can be said that would absolutely apply to all.

<3 hips.
I relate 100% and what you said couldnt put it any better.

Whoah, I just had an Equilibrium flashback. Anyone else?

No.

The words 'should' and 'must' are referred to in CBT* as 'shouldy' and 'musterbation' when they are overused.





*Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

I think you have to have a particular body type to look good in skinnies. I, personally, look AWFUL in them. I have scrawny legs but a bigger ass, so it just doesn't work for me. Lol. More power to those that can pull the look off, but I'm not one of them.

Omg I couldnt agree more Kelly!